Archive for emotional intelligence

Becoming a Warrior

Posted in Life and Learning, Motivation, On building my business, On Dialogue, On Leadership, On Resilience, On Women in Work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 5, 2015 by racheljackson

In September my eldest son starts school.  I find it hard to believe that its been 5 years since my life as I knew it was turned upside-down and inside out by the realisation that the bus I had been driving for so long now had passengers…with views of their own!  To see him dressed up in his new uniform ready to build his own bus and start to drive it…based on observation of his newly acquired stabiliser-free cycling…is terrifying and satisfying all at once.  With my youngest bringing up the rear with constant questions and narrative about the world…I am starting to remember where I was going when this all started and am quietly pleased that in fact the holding pattern that I put in place back in 2009 has actually stood me in pretty good stead.  I am still self employed, I still have money in the bank and in the business, I am still in contact and working with many of the same clients, and in fact I have learned an awful lot about myself, emotional intelligence, resilience and mindfulness as well as leadership and organisational development along the way.  I have built new friendships and grown new skills in staff engagement, surveymonkey and bullying and harassment (training not applying!) at Colchester Hospital, been trained in Open Space facilitation and Dialogue by the amazing Sheila Marsh and Roma Iskander at the Participation Agency, designed new courses with Dr Angela Smith with some great exercises, and helped my husband set up the beginnings of a route out of the rat race.

This week I made a big step forward though…I have joined Sam Pollock’s amazing Warrior Woman programme – a weights-based, holistic, female only route to building not only my fitness, but also my commitment, courage and strength to get back to who I need to be.  I have pushed ‘prowlers’, strained towards my toes and hollered my way towards a successful pull up (yes just the one).  My goal?  To regain my own freedom of spirit.  My measure? The ability to hang from a climbing wall overhang and calmly lift my feet up to where I want them.

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Pacing yourself…you’re not there yet!

Posted in On building my business, On Coaching with tags , , , , , on October 30, 2009 by racheljackson

Forgive me for I have sinned….its been 2 weeks since my last blog entry and whilst I am aware that you are not all out there hanging on my every word (far from it – I’m hoping you all have more important things to do) I am also aware that this means that I have been hibernating a little again and thats not good for me!

What has happened since we last spoke…well to be totally honest, darkness descended a little on my bouncy bubbly world. I tell you this because it might be a common misconception that coaches and trainers in resilience and emotional intelligence do not get dark days.  They are so good at coaching themselves and setting a great example to the rest of humanity that they are always glowing bubbles of sunshine for others to emulate and when darkness descends they bounce back immediately! In fact, I meet many many coaches who struggle to apply their wonderful warmth, supportiveness and respect to themselves in the way they do to their clients – and this doesn’t make them bad coaches!  I believe that much of the wisdom of coaching comes from not from being strong and perfect and wise – but from failing and recovering and living and noticing what happens as you cross this journey. The skill is in understanding and accepting your own journey and using this insight along with the ramshackle set of diagnostic and theoretical tools you carry with you, to help others to understand their own journeys and accept their progress within these.

My journey this week has helped me to remember some things I had got to close to forgetting – forgive my slip into my usual world of peculiar metaphors as I share them :

  • If you constantly stare at the top of the mountain you will trip over every little thing on your path towards it and you will not notice your own progress to the top.  The people standing at the top did not fly there…they walked the same distance as you and probably still remember what it was like!!
  • People do not only want to talk to the people standing at the top….in fact those people are sometimes a little too scary to talk to! You are inspiring because you are walking your journey…and anyone who wishes to find their own journey will find that more inspiring than you can possibly know.  Remember when you weren’t walking the right way for your journey and someone two steps ahead of you pointed it out – you remember that person every day and quote them often.
  • You will not reach the top of the mountain this evening before supper! Even if you walk all night you will simply suffer more blisters and twigs poked in the eye!! If you want to call that failure then feel free – it is your choice! Maybe you will consider the idea that getting through the woods and out the other side before supper is good progress and enables you to see the top more clearly…and you might even have the energy to enjoy the view en route!
  • Its much much more fun walking with someone else to talk to than it is walking on your own.  Thankyou to the people I have walked with this week.  You have helped me remember that I do know which way I’m going…and I am getting there 😉

Next time you are assessing your progress against people four years ahead of you STOP…its a big mountain – enjoy the climb and let the view take care of itself!!