There is a banner stand in my living room!

I have been in business for nearly 8 years as an independent and for the first time (since getting delivery of those all important business cards), I have branded items in my possession.

I have just taken delivery of a banner stand, a large collection of pens and…wait for it…a branded mug and key fob – just the one for that exclusively mine feel! Isn’t it so true that it’s the little things that count? 😉

My new landing page is also live with updates about the new Resilience Series running in the autumn.  Click on the link for more info.

http://bouncability.changingdialogues.com

…or if you are interested in getting people to talk to themselves and each other better…try this one:

http://dialogue.changingdialogues.com

 

Things are hotting up…

So today I have spent my day juggling small boys who have accidentally spilt suntan cream/pressed exit on their Superhero Game and killed Spiderman/ emptied Travel Battleships pieces all over the floor…as well as negotiating with a Virtual Assistant from Time etc (recommended to me by Carrie Beddingfield from the glorious OneFishTwoFish), researching website redesigns and….agreeing to host a FREE Resilience session in October for HRDs across Suffolk and East Anglia in association with Waddington Brown HR recruitment specialists.

The event will be a half day session aimed at fraught HRDs who support fraught employees, fraught managers (and equally completely calm “hand it to HR” managers) and generally work to keep the ship afloat whilst potentially also juggling a similar home-life to myself!

At the moment we are looking at a couple of venues in Ipswich with a ‘stay for lunch afterwards’ option and are hoping to offer 13-15 places for that intimate feel, with a potential for follow on events (also FREE) where demand dictates.

Delegates will be treated to a discounted rate on the Open Sessions that I plan to run in November/December on EI, Leadership, Recovering from Motherhood and Managing in Uncertainty

Details to follow.  If you are interested in registering your place, drop me a line at racheljackson@changingdialogues.com…and remember – its FREE!

Becoming a Warrior

In September my eldest son starts school.  I find it hard to believe that its been 5 years since my life as I knew it was turned upside-down and inside out by the realisation that the bus I had been driving for so long now had passengers…with views of their own!  To see him dressed up in his new uniform ready to build his own bus and start to drive it…based on observation of his newly acquired stabiliser-free cycling…is terrifying and satisfying all at once.  With my youngest bringing up the rear with constant questions and narrative about the world…I am starting to remember where I was going when this all started and am quietly pleased that in fact the holding pattern that I put in place back in 2009 has actually stood me in pretty good stead.  I am still self employed, I still have money in the bank and in the business, I am still in contact and working with many of the same clients, and in fact I have learned an awful lot about myself, emotional intelligence, resilience and mindfulness as well as leadership and organisational development along the way.  I have built new friendships and grown new skills in staff engagement, surveymonkey and bullying and harassment (training not applying!) at Colchester Hospital, been trained in Open Space facilitation and Dialogue by the amazing Sheila Marsh and Roma Iskander at the Participation Agency, designed new courses with Dr Angela Smith with some great exercises, and helped my husband set up the beginnings of a route out of the rat race.

This week I made a big step forward though…I have joined Sam Pollock’s amazing Warrior Woman programme – a weights-based, holistic, female only route to building not only my fitness, but also my commitment, courage and strength to get back to who I need to be.  I have pushed ‘prowlers’, strained towards my toes and hollered my way towards a successful pull up (yes just the one).  My goal?  To regain my own freedom of spirit.  My measure? The ability to hang from a climbing wall overhang and calmly lift my feet up to where I want them.

A change in priorities

Well…I have finally met my match!  Having been advised, cajoled and directly requested by various caring friends, colleagues and relatives to “slow down, take it easy and enjoy your pregnancy”…it appears that I have finally been forced to do so by the very person most likely to benefit…my baby!

Having been filling time during my second trimester with designing a new Resilience programme for a client, landscape gardening and establishing a pond and having charged into my third trimester by driving to Wiltshire and back to run coaching sessions and developing a minor cottage industry making blackberry and apple crumble, I confess to having fallen at the final hurdle and have postponed the first pilot of my Resilience workshop until the Spring.  I simply realised that the capacity of my body to deliver sufficient oxygen and energy to sustain a two day pilot training programme, away from home with the inevitable teething problems..at 36wks…it just wasn’t going to happen. I feel awful…but I eventually accepted that my health must come first.

So now my to-do-list seems to involve such tasks as packing my hospital bag, revising my relaxation techniques, reading up on the endless world of pain-relief at each stage of labour…and sitting admiring the view.  The latter I have come to realise is not simply material but also psychological. The last few years have been a rollercoaster of change for me – moving out of London…and then again out of Derbyshire, setting up my new business, various relationship  and geographical journeys and now a new life about to begin with my partner and baby…. I don’t think anyone could have sat me down and prepared me for it – and I’m not sure I’d have even have taken such a path had I known what it would entail before I started. And yet I regret not a minute of it.  It has been the most amazing period of growth and the place I now find find myself I couldn’t ever have envisaged.  I feel as if I have arrived…a little late and by a circuitous route maybe…but here at last. It feels good 😉

I will post a note in one of those quiet moments once the baby arrives to let you know how it all feels on the other side of this transition.  Until then…I wish you all the best and thank you all for the support, encouragement, guidance and forgiveness you have given me along the various steps of my journey.  I look forward to working with you all again (not all at once you understand!) in the Spring. 😉

Life in the Slow Lane

A couple of months back I asked a friend of mine – also pregnant – which week she was at.  She looked at me…and stood for a bit…and said she wasn’t sure.  As a vivid counter of weeks as they pass I was heartily shocked.  How could anyone not know!  Isn’t that akin to a 10 year old who doesn’t know how many weeks are left in the summer holidays?!

I don’t know if it’s time passing or my neurons sinking deeper into my belly area but I confess to having lost track of how many weeks have passed in my baby-production run. I think it’s about 28 but I wouldn’t want to be quoted! I also have to confess that I have no idea on earth how the pot of yoghurt I found on the doorstep last week got to be there.  It could be something to do with two tasks clashing and some of the instructions getting lost…but I couldn’t tell you.  I have entered the slow lane.

Whilst I have immensely guilty feelings when I think of all those mothers on full-time hours up to the moment their waters break…my slow-down situation is enforced by a choice of self employment two years ago which dictates that selling workshops and coaching when I probably can’t deliver a thing beyond September is both irresponsible and foolish.  As a result I now occupy an interesting world of new emotions which I suspect will become more and more familiar as I shift from being a couple to being a family: the world of Not Knowing (and to not really being able to do much towards knowing either!).

When I leapt into self employment back in 2007, I felt trepidation it is true, but I felt both able and excited to be taking the reigns of my life; to making decisions about where to live, how to work, what to deliver to my clients.  The world moved in familiar 3mth cycles between selling and delivering work and despite never really knowing precisely what was around the corner, there was some sense that I was driving the bus and could make sure that it went in roughly the right way.

Today, I sit, thinking about what I will be doing in just over 3mths and it’s like a blank wall.  I know I should have a baby in my arms and I have a vague idea what that might be like (probably very naive) but no sense that i could be driving the bus.  Take it forward to 6mths…9mths…my desire to take action and control starts to kick in…surely by then I will have found some form of routine, some confidence that I am back on the bus and will be planning my re-entry into work…but what does that require?? Will old clients still have me on their radar for running workshops and coaching?  Will the wheels of word of mouth have lead to new enquiries…or to people assuming that I was “out of action” and unavailable for work? Should I be contacting people regularly throughout my child’s early months – to keep on their minds…or should I wait until I am actually able to commit to work with them? Should I be working on new approaches or products in the interim so that sales arrive on my Blackberry ready for the day I can no longer stand daytime TV and need intellectual challenge ? – or am I being naive to think I will be able to study/produce anything whilst tending to a newborn? Should I take on coaching work in those first few months or will that too be unrealistic?

For the first time in my life I feel totally “on hold”…and there isn’t even any annoying “waiting music” to keep me company! In fact, at the moment I’m not even sure who I’m calling, whether they’ll answer…or what I want to say to them if they do…

Is this one of those times in life to sit back and watch the river go by…or should I be paddling in some direction or other…?

If anyone has any thoughts or experiences to share…I’d love to hear from you…

The future ain’t what it used to be!!

Well….its been some time since I wrote a blog despite all my best intentions.  But what what a time its been.  I don’t think I could have fitted in more if I’d tried!!

A quick run down:

1. I have designed a new diagnostic to measure resilience.  It is in its final design stages now and ready to pilot with an old client of mine that I am both very proud and very happy to be working with again.  I very much look forward to building a workshop that will go from strength to strength within their leadership programme. If you want more details – just get in touch.

2. Due to point 4 below and the desire to simplify my existence, I have decided to disband the team that was to be The Resilience People.  We are still planning to work together informally but have stepped back from the wealth of complexity surrounding company formations.  I wish Marion and Jo all the best and look forward to working with them again in the future. This does not mean that we don’t believe in the concept or that the products around Resilience are also offline – just that we value the freedom and flow that comes with 3 creative individuals rather than a weighty company.

3 – I had a wonderful extended stay in Italy thanks to my friend Francesca and her fabulous Agritourismo in Barga (www.albenefizio.it) and to that gloriously unpronounceable volcano in Iceland.  I am now amused to see the wealth of Volcano related tours being advertised in the windows of STA Travel in Victoria!

4 – I am moving to the next phase of my own personal development…the production of mini-me number one.  As Francesca said to me as she joyfully wielded her hedge-trimmer to carve a chicken-shape into her box-tree…”People who don’t have children lead amazing lives…but they do not grow like you grow when you have children” .  I am ready for the most amazing growth I have experienced yet – both physically and emotionally.  All those years using the “management” of teenagers and toddlers as examples in my leadership training – and I finally get to understand the disbelieving laughter and bemusement of my clients as they consider my wise and utterly innocent words 😉

5 – Just to top it off…my partners roll as temporary sole bread-winner necessitates a sacrificial move on my part – we will be moving south to my birhplace in Suffolk – to be nearer my family and his work. This should also mean more availability for lunching and obviously working in London – so do keep in touch.  I will be back…as Arnie so eloquently put it!

Website now LIVE!!!!

Just a little note to those anonymous surfers out there who haven’t had an excited call from me…my website is now live!!! You can either click on the link below-right or be lazy and click precisely HERE

Please do act on the prompt to get in touch – it is what makes my life and work more interesting 😉

Talking about Growth

Yesterday I met a wonderful couple at their home south of Manchester to talk with them about their work in the field of facilitating dialogue.  Janice and Phil McNamara from Summerhouses have, over the last few years, travelled an inspiring journey together and now work together using their diverse experiences and background to help schools, colleges and organisations improve the dialogues they share.  As someone who is also passionate about this field, it seemed bordering on criminal not to catch up with them to talk.

As the tea flowed and we nattered, the openness and authenticity of our communication enabled me to reflect on my own journey and the challenges and gifts that have shaped that journey.  It brought to mind something my partner has often repeated to me in my moments of fear and growth:

“A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared stuck.

The man decided to help the butterfly and with a pair of scissors he cut open the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. Something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shrivelled wings. The man watched the butterfly expecting it to take on its correct proportions. But nothing changed.

The butterfly stayed the same. It was never able to fly. In his kindness and haste the man did not realise that the butterfly’s struggle to get through the small opening of the cocoon is nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight.

Like the sapling which grows strong from being buffeted by the wind, in life we all need to struggle sometimes to make us strong.” – from Ack Paul Matthews

The description of my day that I had given to my partner which prompted him to repeat this wisdom once more was “somedays it feels like I am standing on a bar-stool trying to pin something to the ceiling!”. Those days are tough days to get through and I find myself testing all my resilience capabilities to find the courage and faith to move forward. I equally find that I learn more in those days than I could ever have imagined – and meet the most amazing people travelling similar paths.

To stick with the butterfly metaphor, each time I feel the urge to cut the cocoon and take the easy way, I reach out and connect with new travellers; I beat more blood into my wings and it reinforces my sense that I am travelling the right way…both in direction and in pace.

Planning for Resilience

Well, with a successful business meeting in the Mistral in Wirksworth with Jo Higgins-Cezza from Beaumont consulting, a new venture is firmly on its way.  We are starting on the design of initial workshops to develop a greater focus on Resilience across both the private and education sectors.

Following a background of providing Resilience training designed by Adaptiv in the US during my HayGroup years, and having spent the last few months reading far and wide on the subject to supplement my degree memories, the educational background and shared philosophy that Jo brings to the process makes me ever more confident that together we can bring something powerful to this growing field.  If you are interested in exploring this area with us – do get in touch through my website – click on the link to the right of this blog.

The Value of Coaching

There was a phrase I picked up during my NLP Master Practitioner training about 5 years ago; “When the pupil is ready the guide will appear”. I remember being extraordinarily comforted by this. In the weeks to follow I started to notice how often the newspaper I read, the book I picked up, or the person I met seemed carefully chosen in line with the questions I was grappling with in my own life.

Recently, having been exploring business development opportunities and marketing online, I have been buffeted by a quite alarmingly large number of loud-sounding emails telling me that “I could earn £30,000/£60,000/£300,000 as a life coach!”.  I even managed to sit next to a young lady on the tube the other day who caught my eye as she transformed herself from a just-woken-up-slightly-art-student look to a very attractive business-looking woman in front of the gathered travellers. As I glanced over her shoulder, she was reading the marketing blurb for one of the get rich quick models.

So, it appears that my guides have arrived…although as it turns out…I’m not sure I’m ready.  I feel a bit like Luke Skywalker must have felt when Yoda turned up as his guide; a little disappointed that this figure in front of him didn’t really look like the inspirational or powerful model he was after.  I can’t of course complain that my guides aren’t inspirational or powerful – they are practically evangelistic with their presentation.  I feel a slight failure already that I am not standing next to them on the podium!

So why is it, I’ve been asking myself, that I feel so uncomfortable about signing up to this get-rich-as-a-coach drive? Is it a fear that I’m not good enough?  A fear that I might have to face the competition head on?  Neither of these seems to fit, because it’s actually deeper than that: I feel uncomfortable that I should profit from the desire of others to get rich quick. I feel even more uncomfortable setting up a process by which the less able these people are to help themselves, the more I profit. It just feels all wrong to me – and believe me; I do like money and the making thereof.  That is not the reason behind this.

Something Ian McDermott, my trainer, said brought this question back to me on Sunday – “If you know what works, it’s your role to share this with as many people as you can”.  I considered this question carefully against my reactions to the get rich quick model.  In many ways, that is exactly what these guys are doing; along with most of the people in this world, they are selling something they know how to do, to others who do not, to the benefit of all.  But no..that sense of discomfort hasn’t gone away and now I really do feel like I have some “issues” to explore around my own values. Is it the fact that my reading on these models suggests that people are required to keep their secrets secret – thus clashing with the sense of sharing what works.  Or is it simply the aggressive marketing approach that accesses my natural defence mechanisms against the too-good-to-be-true.  I don’t know…but if you could all send me a fiver, I’ll go along to one of the lectures and find out.  I won’t be able to share with you what I learn, but I will get commission if I rave so much about it that you want to go too 😉